Today I want to talk about 5 ways to know if your relationship is toxic & hints to know if it’s time to leave. This topic is near and dear to me because I have personally experienced an extremely toxic relationship before and unfortunately I didn’t have anyone to point out the signs to me and I was also just young and dumb lol…so here I am, pointing out the signs to YOU. I’m going to leave out the most obvious one which is cheating because I really hope no one is putting up with that anyway LOL, I hope you all find this helpful!
1. They’re controlling:
They’re controlling, they want control over EVERY aspect of your life. Who you can be friends with, what you can wear, where you can go..They literally want to be the BOSS of YOUR life and every decision that should be YOURS to make. This really stems from them being insecure and clearly lacking trust for you. We all know a relationship is really nothing without trust, so if they’re controlling you they simply don’t trust you. Remember, a relationship shouldn’t feel like jail it should feel like freedom.
2. They’re Disrespectful:
They are emotionally and maybe even physically abusive. Every time they get mad they’re calling you out your name, yelling in your face, grabbing you, causing a scene etc. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! Emotional abuse is real, and no one deserves to be belittled or embarrassed in such a way ever. A real adult and person who loves you will simply walk away from the escalated fight and collect themselves then come back to you. If when you and your partner get into an argument they’re quick to call you out your name, belittle you, or touch you in any way you don’t like then PLEASE leave them. Don’t believe the “It’ll never happen again” line because it WILL, and by then it might be too late.
3. They always want a “break”:
Instead of working things out with you because they truly love you, they always take any opportunity they can to claim they need space or a “break” from you. Any fight that occurs between you two they take advantage of it and use it as their moment to ask for time away from you to “clear their head”. This break usually never has a time frame and just ends whenever this person feels like it, mean while you’re over there with an aching heart wondering if you’ll ever hear from them again. This is a perfect example of mind games. Real couples try to work it out. They get through things the mature way, they don’t just abandon each other every single fight. Either break up, or be together and work it out..But this break nonsense all the time, probably is really just their way of doing what they want without you being able to say anything (in my opinion at least).
4. They’re constantly lying:
They lie non stop. It can be about anything under the sun. They’ll lie about what they ate for breakfast, they lie just to lie. If you’re constantly catching them in lies chances are you’re dating a pathological liar and the lies probably go even deeper than you think. No one wants to have to question everything someone says. Not only that, lying really puts a damper on trust in a relationship. The lying will make the trust dwindle until there’s really none left at all. Beware of the PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!
5. They always put you second–to everything:
You are second to everything. Literally. They’ll put hanging out with their friends before you, doing things with other people before doing them with you, partying, just everything in general comes before you. If you’re having to bug someone to see you or make time for you but they somehow have time to see everyone else and do everything else…..then they probably really don’t see you as a priority at the moment. You’re basically, not important. To them, that is.
Those are a few ways you can tell that the relationship is probably hanging by a thread and by no means healthy. In all seriousness, If someone is constantly making you feel like crap, putting you down, making you feel unsafe PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell your loved ones what’s going on. Emotional abuse can turn to physical abuse quicker than you realize. It’s true love can be blind, but ask yourself…Is what you’re experiencing really what love is? When you think about love, and what you always thought it would be, is this what you imagined? Would you want your son or daughter to stay with someone like this? Please, always remember your worth and that you deserve the absolute best and nothing less. If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse please call the Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.