Cutting off toxic family members: Why it’s sometimes COMPLETELY NECESSARY!

images-6.jpg

In the past on this blog I’ve mentioned cutting off toxic lovers. However, I never got into what you do with a FAMILY MEMBER who is completely toxic. To be real, my advice is basically the same. We’ve all heard the saying “Blood is thicker than Water” but does that even matter when your family member is treating you like straight up crap? Causes drama in your life? Creates issues constantly? etc.

If you have a family member that is constantly negative, they love causing drama in your life, they’re constantly draining you of all positivity and happiness, then it sounds like you have a toxic family member who may need to be cut loose. When I say cut loose, I really mean basically this person should no longer be allowed a front row seat in your life. Whether it’s walking away forever, or momentarily, sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to cut off a member of your own family. We would all like to believe that Family is always going to be loyal and kind towards us, and that they’ll always have good intentions. Unfortunately, that’s just not the truth. Sometimes it can be your own blood that’s praying on your downfall. Sometimes blood really is the only connection two people share *Kanye Shrug*

The first part of being able to cut off a family member is to not associate the act of cutting them off with guilty feelings. You should NOT feel guilty for making a move that is ultimately going to help you be at peace in your life. Get over the whole fact that this person is your family and treat the situation as if you’re addressing any other person in your life. Would you tolerate such disrespect and negativity from anyone else in your life? No? So why put up with it from someone just because they have the title of “cousin”, “Aunt” etc.? A Family member will take advantage of the fact that they’re family and they’ll probably throw it in your face to guilt you when ever you seem like you want to step away..DON’T FALL FOR IT. If you were all that important to them and they loved you like family does, they wouldn’t be out to make your life harder.

A sign that it’s getting to the point that it’s out of hand, is that you’ll probably have already forgiven this person several times. Time and time again you let them back into your life “because they’re family” only to end up regretting it. At the end of the day, ultimately if everything could always be worked out that would be awesome..but sometimes there are just some people who will never change, and who will always create havoc in your life. Letting these people go may be the push they need to see the error of their ways, or they may not care at all; which shows their character. It’s up to you to decide..how long will you put up with the world of drama that they bring? How long will you continue to have the same arguments with this person? How long will you let them get away with putting you down “because they’re family”? I do believe most things can be worked out amongst family, however I’m a firm believer in seeing people for exactly who they are and how they make us feel, then moving accordingly.  You have a right to create a happy and healthy life for yourself.  

If you’re reading this and you’re trying to figure out whether or not to keep a toxic family member in your life, just take a moment to really assess this persons role thus far. Do they bring you peace or do they bring you constant issues and negativity? Based on that answer I’m confident that you’ll make the right decision.

Thanks for reading <3

Xoxo

-Sheispoetryyy

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Cutting off toxic family members: Why it’s sometimes COMPLETELY NECESSARY!

  1. I always felt like i was the only person who cut off family for being toxic. Seeing posts like this makes me feel less alone out there and reaffirms my decisions.

  2. you are not alone! i did NC in 2011 since my family (especially mom) abused me emotionally, verbally, and with money. i had lived with constant fear what they would do next since no matter how much $ I did for them, it was never going to be enough (i was no longer working, yet they still demanded $ from me). I was her scapegoat. I ended up with PTSD once i came to realize who they were. I did what I had to do to protect myself and my marriage from the toxic relationship I had with them.
    i still see a therapist. she told me my mom was with borderline personality disorder. she had thought she was entitled to whatever i had just because she was my mom. her reasoning was so sick, i could not talk to her anymore since i had lost 100% the trust and the respect i used to have for her. it’s very sad.

Leave a Reply